A compilation of my favorite quotes:
Top Ten:
A real conversation, free from projection and ego-flexing, is a special gift. Most do not talk to listen; they talk to be heard. Self-awareness, selflessness, and a real desire to listen are required for mutually authentic and honest exchange.
There is no other way to a life of fulfillment, happiness, and vibrant connections, but through thoroughly traveling the realms of our own heart and mind. Areas that remain undiscovered are areas of potential friction that may manifest in our own mind or between us and the ones we love. All that is unexplored can show up as blocks that can stop the flow of harmony.
When you feel agitated because you think someone you love is not growing quickly enough, remember that you had to go slowly before you could make real progress. Managing your expectations and knowing that people grow at their own speed will save you from interrupting your peace.
Know your sources of rejuvenation: the amount of solitude you need to feel fresh again, the activities that strengthen your creativity, the people who light up your spirit.
In relationships, it is important to understand that the other person cannot fix your emotional problems. At best they can support you as your uncover and process your own emotional history.
Find a partner who is not afraid to grow. If they are ready to notice their patterns, let go of old conditioning, and expand their perspective, then they will be ready to support a vibrant relationship. Two people who are working on knowing and loving themselves as individuals will naturally deepen their love and understanding of each other. Growth comes with ups and downs, but it is also the key to great harmony.
It is not about expecting your partner to make you happy; it is about clearly communicating the best ways they can support you as you travel inward to ignite your own happiness.
When we go inward, we realize how much society has conditioned us, created subtle shifts in our preferences, and slowly formed our unconscious biases. We think we are unbiased, but the record of our past - meaning all interactions we have experienced and all media we have consumed - is always impacting our thoughts and actions. Real freedom is the ability to observe the world without allowing our personal past to impose itself on what we encounter. At their height, objectivity and selfless love become one. Practice makes a difference.
Maturity is feeling joy for another's success. A mind trapped in competition, one that feels a quiet bitterness whenever someone gets a thing you crave, is a sign that you are still at war with yourself. End the turmoil and friction by loving and knowing yourself more deeply.
Happiness is being able to enjoy the things you worked for without slipping into thinking about what is missing or what you want next.
Other Highlights:
self-awareness
Heal yourself, but don't rush. Help people, but have boundaries. Love others, but don't let them harm you. Love yourself, but don't become egotistical. Stay informed, but don't overwhelm yourself. Embrace change, but keep pursuing your goals.
When healing gets deep, there is sometimes as explosion of emotion that occurs to clear out old energetic debris. You feel most agitated right before you settle into a more substantial peace.
Miscommunication and conflict occur because we are not building a bridge of understanding. Often, in heated conversations, all we can think about is our own perspective, emotions, or ego. This limits our ability to empathize with the experience of another person, which is a prerequisite for the harmony that comes from understanding. One of the greatest gifts we can give each other is selfless listening, which is hearing someone's truth without projecting one's own emotion or story onto it - literally receiving another's perspective with complete acceptance.
unbinding
Time does not heal all wounds; it just gives them space to sink into the subconscious, where they will continue to impact your emotions and behavior. What heals is going inward, loving yourself, accepting yourself, listening to your needs, addressing your attachments and emotional history, learning how to let go, and following your intuition.
So much of our internal struggle comes from not embracing change. Tension decreases when we understand that change is happening at every level, from the atomic, to the biological, to the mental. A human being is composed of moving parts. Our identity is no different. It is a dynamic phenomenon, similar to a river - flowing, moving, expanding, roaring, weaving, all the time with power and all the time with the potential to change. Do not limit yourself to a static understanding of you you are. Release your conditioned boundaries and be free.
Have you noticed that when you feel the urge to change someone, what you really want is for them to behave more like you?
How many times have you been unable to fully enjoy a special moment because you couldn't stop thinking about what was missing?
The mind attempts to see the world in a way that affirms its conditioning. Our perception takes in the present by categorizing and understanding what is happening through its similarity to the past - this creates a system of repetition that strengthens old patterns. New events are normally not perceived in their full clarity because their similarity to past situations triggers old emotional reactions, which quickly could the mind's ability to observe what is happening objectively. We are seeing today and simultaneously feeling all of our yesterdays.
Expectations cause great misery for the individual. We are constantly creating narratives of how we want things to be and how we want others around us to act. These narratives invariably lead to disappointment because the stories we crave are often dashed and broken by unrealistic expectations, circumstances beyond our control, and the randomness of the external world.
Your initial reaction is usually your past trying to impose itself on your present.
the love between us
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but there are incredible relationships in which the mutual connection and support are indescribably profound.
Vibrant relationships feel like a sanctuary where you are safe to bring your vulnerability and you are given ample love and care. A home that equally supports rest and growth, free from judgement as you both seek to evolve. A union void of control but filled with mutual understanding.
Attributes of a good relationship:
Selfless listening
Calm communication
Holdings space for each other
Strong trust, no need to control
Authenticity, no need to perform
Rest, laughter, and adventure together
The love between you is empowering
Commitments to each other are clear
Flexible, no need to always be together
Both have the space to grow and change
Loving people does not mean you let them hurt you. Loving yourself and others unconditionally is a balance between protecting yourself and giving to others.
growing
Eventually you start to see changes. Your mind becomes light, the trees look bright, the air you breathe begins to feel like food for new opportunity, and life takes on a crisp color pattern. Ups and downs will continue to come and there is still much to learn, but you are calm now and do not fear the old storms, which seems to pass more quickly. A new awareness arises to gently remind you that your power is yours to wield and is ready to propel you forward into peace liberating insight.
Essentials for growth:
Proper rest
More learning
Consistent honesty
Building new habits
Letting go of old stories
Saying no to old patterns
Believing that you can change
Saying yes to supportive people
Examining your emotional history
Finding a practice to heal past pain
Making time to build self-awareness
Inner work simultaneously makes us stronger and increases our humility. We reclaim our power and more easily follow our calling, but we also recognize how fallible our perceptions can be and how much more we have to learn.
Inner peace is not feeling perfect all of the time or not caring about what is happening. Inner peace is feeling and being with your emotions without reacting to them; it is the calmness that emerges when you embrace change.
a new life
Six signs of maturity
Being open to vulnerability, learning, and letting go
Seeing more perspectives than just your own
Accepting responsibility for your happiness
Prioritizing practices that help you grow
Pausing to think instead of reacting
Honesty with yourself and others