Daily Dad on Being Present

A great article on how to be a present parent. Summary:

1. Put away your phone when you’re with your kids

2. Make time for some fun with your kids every day

   1. Because there is no better way to be present for your kids than to make time for things that are fun for the both of you every single day. Whether it’s an evening wrestling match or having a tea party, both of you will be better off. And by regularly having fun together with them, it’ll be that much easier to turn the moments that aren’t necessarily fun, like waiting at the doctor’s office or doing homework together, into a game as well.

3. Stop watching the news around your child

4. Keep in mind your child may not always be with you

   1. "As you kiss your son good night, says Epictetus, whisper to yourself, “He may be dead in the morning.” Don’t tempt fate, you say. By talking about a natural event? Is fate tempted when we speak of grain being reaped?"

   2. A parent who faces the fact that they can lose a child at any moment is a parent who is present. Who loves. Who does not hold onto stupid things or enforce stupid rules. A great dad looks at the cruel world and says, “I know what you can do to my family in the future, but for the moment you’ve spared me. I will not take that for granted.” Anxiety? Keeping up with the Joneses? Caring about getting into that exclusive pre-school or into Harvard? Who cares? It can all go away in a second. There’s nothing we can do about that. We can, however, drink in the present. We can be what they need right now.

5. Say ‘no’, so you can say ‘yes’ to your kids

   1. Weeks before Kobe died, an ESPN reporter reached out for a story and Kobe responded, “Can’t right now. My girls are keeping me busy. Hit me up in a couple of weeks."

6. Look at every moment with your child as a gift

   1. All of it is right now, being presented to you. Accept it. Embrace it. Hold onto it. Learn to appreciate every moment for what it is, not what you wish it was.

7. Let go of all your baggage

   1. The children who are more likely to grow into happy and well-adjusted adults are those who felt loved and accepted for who they were by their parents. Because rather than having to hide behind a “false self” and constantly placate to their parents expectations, they are free to grow into the people they are actually meant to be. Unfortunately, far too many parents lose sight of this. Because they were disciplined or raised a certain way, they think that that’s just how parenting is done. But it’s not. Your duty as a parent is to help your kid grow into the person they were meant to become and to help them get back up when they stumble. Not to pay forward the same things that caused you so much distress when you were a child.