Is it easier to be a moral person living as an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Such a question has always been such an obvious “yes” for me that it would be silly to even entertain. But the further away from the church I get, the easier it is to see problems with this assertion. It’s subtle, but as a wise man once said, “subtle stuff is interesting.”
Let’s ignore for now whether or not the church is true or inspired by God, and just look at whether it promotes a morality that is any better than the rest of “the world”. I argue that it is not on any moral high ground, but actually less moral than the world, on average, for three reasons: 1) the church’s track record on moral issues, 2) tribalism and 3) the dangers of obedience. This will sound absurd and offensive to believing members of the church at first, so I hope that my explanation will help. But first, let’s define terms.
What is Morality?
The word “morality” means something different inside and outside of the church:
Morality (outside of the church): principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior.
Describing someone as “immoral” means that they behave in a way that goes against generally accepted ethical and moral principles.
To get an idea of what we’re talking about, here is an incomplete list of moral standards generally accepted by society (let’s say American to keep it simple):
Love others
Tell the truth
Do not destroy property
Have courage
Keep your promises
Do not cheat
Treat others as you want to be treated
Do not judge
Be dependable
Be forgiving
Have integrity
Take responsibility for your actions
Have patience
Have respect for yourself and others
Seek justice
Have humility
Be generous
Morality (inside of the church): sexual purity (i.e. avoiding sexual sin)
Describing someone as “immoral” means that they have committed some kind of sexual sin.
To illustrate, click on a random example of a conference talk listed under the topic “morality” and it will specifically be discussing sexual sin. Or read the subtopics for The Lord’s Standard of Morality which includes: Fornication and Adultery, Inappropriate Touching, Self-Abuse, Same-Gender Relationships, etc.
Instead of listing sexual sins as a list of morality, let’s try to get on the same page by listing the generally accepted standards of conduct inside the church. For this, it seems appropriate that the requirements to enter the temple should be able to serve as a decent proxy:
Faith in the Godhead
Belief in Christ and the Atonement
Belief in the Restoration
Sustain church leaders
Moral cleanliness in thoughts and behavior and keep the law of chastity (note use of the word moral)
Follow the teachings of the church and not support anything contrary to it
Keep the sabbath day
Be honest
Pay tithing
No smoking/drugs/coffee/black tea/green tea/alcohol
Pay your financial obligations
Wear garments
Repent of serious sins
One observation is that the difference between “good” and “bad” outside of the church mostly has to do with behavioral values and virtues between you and another person, treating others a certain way. Standards and values of the church generally have to do with beliefs about church doctrines and behaviors between you and God. That’s not necessarily better or worse, just illustrative that they look at what is good and bad differently, or at least what is emphasized most often as good and bad behavior. One way to summarize this idea is that “the world” sees other people as the moral judge while in the church God (or Christ) serves as the judge.
Are We Naturally Moral?
Those inside and outside of the church both agree that we are naturally moral people. Darwinian theory claims that this is an evolutionarily learned survival mechanism, enhancing our ability to get along and interact with others and, therefore, survive. Church doctrine states that all humans have the light of Christ, giving them the ability to discern right from wrong.
But people act immorally all of the time. So what exactly causes our compass to sometimes get pulled from true north to something like north-north east? Or even south? The church has a clear explanation for this: Satan. He is the one messing with our compasses and causing us to sin, deviating from the natural moral code.
The world would say that perfectly sane people do bad things for a lot of reasons, be it a lack of self control, greed, mental illness, etc. But one reason the world provides for deviation from moral decision making is that human leaders of all kinds have used language to convince people that immoral actions are actually okay.
Extreme examples from the past include the one-child policy in China using the “war against the population” as justification to perform 336 million abortions, many of them forced. Or the perpetuation of the idea in Nazi Germany that Jews were genetically inferior and that measures must be taken to keep the race “clean.” Or radical Islam teaching that you will be rewarded in heaven for killing infidels.
More common modern examples, however, include politicians, gurus, and yes, even prophets convincing people to support an immoral idea either because it’s for the greater good or because it is actually just good.
So, with definitions explored a little, here are the three primary reasons that I think “the world” is, on average, more morally correct than the church.
1) Track Record
The prophets make this exercise easier than it should be by having a wonderful track record of consistently teaching immoral ideas long after these ideas were considered immoral by the world. Below are just a few examples of dates in American history. The first belief represents one held by the majority of Americans at that time, followed by the belief/view inside the church at that time.
1833-1843
The World: Lying is wrong. Lying to your wife about who you are marrying and sleeping with is wrong.
The Church: Joseph Smith is a prophet of God so it’s okay.
1843
The World: Promising women eternal salvation if they marry you is called sexual coercion and is wrong. It’s a little more wrong if he is 37 and she is “several months before her 15th birthday.”
The Church: Joseph Smith is a prophet of God so it’s okay.
1843
The World: Freedom of the press is important. Destroying property for printing something you don’t like is wrong. Especially when it’s true.
The Church: Joseph Smith is a prophet of God so it’s okay.
1856
The World: Murder is wrong. Even if your wife cheats on you - still not okay.
The Church: Not only is this okay, but you’ll be saving her by doing so through Blood Atonement. God agrees with this.
1972
The World: Discriminating against women is wrong.
The Church: The prophets actively opposed the ERA. God agrees with this.
1978
The World: Discriminating against black people is wrong. The Civil Rights Act was passed 14 years ago which prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex or national origin.
The Church: “Discrimination against the Negro goes back into the beginning with God.” (David O. McKay). Men and Women of African descent carry the curse of Cain and cannot be sealed in the temple. This was commanded by God.
1843-1990
The World: Murder is still wrong.
The Church: I swore an oath in the temple that if I told the secrets of the temple I should be murdered by slitting my throat and being disemboweled. I even do hand motions to practice. God agrees with this.
Present
The World: Covering up child sexual abuse is wrong.
The Church: “Lying for the Lord” to protect the image of the church is sometimes warranted. God agrees with this.
Present
The World: Discriminating against gay people is wrong. Any two consenting adults should be treated equally and be able to love and marry who they want.
The Church: God says gay relationships are a serious sin and these couples cannot be sealed in the temple.
Present
The World: All leaders should be held accountable in some way.
The Church: “In our system of Church government, evil speaking and criticism of leaders by members is always negative. Whether the criticism is true or not.” (Dallin H. Oaks)
Present
The World: Families are important and we should try our best to love and support them.
The Church: Families are important and we should try our best to love and support them. Except if they leave the church. Or are gay. Then “love could be interpreted as condoning” (Jeffrey R. Holland). We love gay people and apostates - we’re just sad for them and treat them differently.
Some might be thinking, “Sure, but the church fixed all of these.” To which I say, “Great!” For you at least. Too bad for people that died before they changed, decades after the world did. Or the ones still affected today.
2) Tribalism
Imagine if I told my children from birth that vanilla was the only acceptable flavor of ice cream. It is pure, delicious and, most importantly, ordained by God. I never said that other ice cream flavors are bad, just that vanilla is the one that God likes the most. While only wanting to sound positive and instill the beauty and virtues of vanilla, I am in fact creating an equally strong opposing viewpoint in my children that if vanilla is ordained by God, then by logical reasoning, other flavors must be bad, or at least less desirable.
If raised this way, my kids would likely never try any other ice cream flavors. Maybe at the grocery store they would even feel nervous in the ice cream aisle, hesitant as we walked by the less pure French vanilla, averting their eyes from the chocolate and strawberry, and hiding behind me when we pass the Ben & Jerry’s, what with all that cookie dough and those brownie chunks. Most importantly, they would feel the same way toward people eating these flavors. This is tribalism, and it’s everywhere, hardwired into our DNA, and it leads to a sense of superiority toward ourselves and the other vanilla-eaters.
This is of course the same for believers in Mohammed, Jesus, Joseph Smith Jr., Joseph Smith III, L. Ron Hubbard, the Democratic party, Fox News, the Yankees, or Crossfit. If this thing is perceived as the only conceivable option, or at least the very best option, then other things by default become, at best, inferior and, at worst, bad, without needing to state such an idea.
Tribalism results in separation, an us vs. them mentality and, inevitably, judgment. Identifying as a member of a group can certainly be considered negative for an adult, with varying degrees of judgment depending on the group (i.e. strong for politics and religion, less so for, say, little league). But pushing that membership on your children creates judgment in their mind against the “other” without their ability to question that label. And when that membership is expected to be accepted without evidence or question, that represents a nice and tidy definition of indoctrination.
Christians of all flavors agree on at least one thing - that we should not judge lest we be judged. The irony is that by taking this idea and wrapping it into a religion automatically creates judgment by separating us (followers of Christ) from them (those that don’t), making it easier to fear, look down on, and/or avoid “them.” This basic idea is the root of all wars in world history, especially those motivated by religion.
A more subtle and less dramatic side effect of tribalism inside of the church is labeling people in our minds, each carrying different levels of judgment along with them:
Active/Inactive/Semi-active
Temple worthy/Unworthy
Priesthood holder/Woman
Member/Non-member/Apostate
Progressive Mormon
LGBTQ Ally
Important calling/Less important calling
Dresses modestly/immodestly
Shops on Sunday
Mission/no mission/returned early
Does/Doesn’t wear garments
Says “Mormon”
These labels keep us from seeing a person or thing for what they really are and makes it easier to compare them to ourselves and others. Instead we only see the label with which we associate them. Do we see our friends for who they really are? Our spouse? Ourselves? Or have we just crafted an image of them based on our limited experience of what they do and say? The philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti said:
“Do you know that even when you look at a tree and say, `That is an oak tree', or `that is a banyan tree', the naming of the tree, which is botanical knowledge, has so conditioned your mind that the word comes between you and actually seeing the tree? To come in contact with the tree you have to put your hand on it and the word will not help you to touch it.”
The church inherently promotes tribalism and judgment, which can be reduced by not affiliating with said “in” group, thus avoiding the creation of an “out” group.
3) The Dangers of Obedience
The church teaches people that they are sick and that the church is the only one that can provide the medicine. This is the same for the Catholic church and many other Christian-based faiths. Let me explain.
The general idea is that the natural man is an enemy to God, therefore we are inherently sinners, broken, needing repentance and forgiveness. Strangely, God can’t forgive us on His own for some reason. Luckily, God sent a Savior to be murdered and this allows us to heal our sickness of sin.
But here’s a crazy idea. What if we are actually healthy just as we are? What if we’ve just been told by prophets and popes that we are sinners and God has fire and brimstone waiting for us if we don’t repent? What if we are good enough as is? What if we all have problems and that’s okay? What if the list of “sins” are actually just made up by people? And why is it that the only way to get better always somehow involves paying money to some church?
There are thousands of examples, but one that stands out is given in a talk by Dallin H. Oaks with the two quotes conveniently next to one another:
The sickness: “The First Presidency has declared that “there is a distinction between [1] immoral thoughts and feelings and [2] participating in either immoral heterosexual or any homosexual behavior.” Although immoral thoughts are less serious than immoral behavior, such thoughts also need to be resisted and repented of because we know that “our thoughts will also condemn us” (Alma 12:14). Immoral thoughts (and the less serious feelings that lead to them) can bring about behavior that is sinful.”
The medicine: “Because of God’s great love for his children, even the worst sinners (or almost all of them) will ultimately be rewarded with assignment to a kingdom of glory. Persons who have lived good lives and received most of the ordinances of salvation but have failed to qualify for exaltation through eternal marriage will be saved in a lesser place in the celestial kingdom where there is no eternal increase (see D&C 131:1–4).”
So when you make everything from homosexuality to drinking coffee to not paying tithing a sin, you become “not quite good enough” and in need of proper repentance through the church to become whole again, or at least “saved in a lesser place” kind of whole.
Most people agree that unquestioning obedience to a leader is generally a bad idea, since they’re bound to be wrong eventually. But if that person is their leader, then not only is this okay, but often the only way.
Some may say that we should not follow the prophet blindly, but ask for personal confirmation from the spirit that what they say is true. This is a paradox - if you ask the spirit and feel different than the prophet, then the prophet isn’t wrong. You are wrong, you need to try harder or be more patient, and eventually you will get the right answer. Like Moroni’s promise, this is a one-sided tautological test where the affirmative is in fact the only valid result.
Of course, if prophets had a good track record, maybe there would be some reason to be obedient to them. But of course they’re wrong all the time, and usually in immoral ways, making the idea of obedience suddenly look morally dangerous.
One dark and subtle side effect of obedience is that disobedience is met with punishment, be it explicit from church leaders or implicit punishment after death. This fear-based mechanism negatively impacts the mental health of the member, often with devastating consequences. Much has been published on the abysmal mental health statistics (the mental health section starts on page 54) for adults and teens in Utah, including teen suicide, especially queer teens. Altitude matters, sure, and maybe Utah isn’t the best proxy for the church, but it certainly takes some mental gymnastics to explain away.
In Summary
We can argue all day about whether or not the church is “true,” whatever that actually means. But arguing that the church is on moral high ground or is in any way a more moral way of life is really concerning since it has a terrible track record, promotes judgment of the “other,” and requires unquestioning obedience that often results in damage to one’s mental health.
Morality refers to choosing right from wrong, but if someone controls what “right” and “wrong” mean, then bad things can and do happen. I think that we all are capable of determining right and wrong on our own and, on average, we’re better at it than people who call themselves prophets. If we all decide what these words mean for us and follow our own consciences toward a moral life, I think we’ll be better off than if we obey someone else’s definitions.
There's an old saying that the church is perfect but the people are imperfect. I often wonder if this saying is exactly backwards - the church is imperfect and broken but the people in it are perfect just the way they are.
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